I arrived in-country to Vietnam on 10 December 1969 having endured basic and advanced infantry training during the summer of that year in two of the hottest temperature states in the union, Kentucky and Louisiana. Nothing, however prepared me for weather conditions in South Vietnam. Routinely, temperatures would reach in excess of 110 degrees Fahrenheit by mid-day. To complicate matters, Fire Support Bases, from which I was based, were devoid of trees by necessity because of the need to be able to aim artillery and mortar weapons without obstruction. There were no such things like air conditioning or refrigerators. No shade except in Quonset type structures which were made of steel and aluminum and covered by sandbags in case of incoming enemy rounds. It was sometimes hotter in those home away from home substitutes. The only relief was the Jungle which covered 2/3 of this paradise that was located right on top of the Equator. Much of this area was known as triple canopy foliage, meaning three layers of dense growth and underbrush. This area did allow a break from the daily searing temperatures but presented a bigger problem. This is where the enemy was hiding, and their daily goal was to try to shoot as many GIs as possible. Unfortunately, this is where I was assigned being a member of a reconnaissance platoon. We got a break from the searing temperatures but operated in a far more dangerous situation. Presented with these obstacles one might consider this circumstance as about a dire as it could become.
Not even close. The biggest hurdle to cross was the psycological trauma of being away from your loved ones with no ability to communicate other than a letter in the mail. U.S. Mail would generally arrive to soldiers in the forward areas about every three days by what was affectionately nicknamed the “Log Bird”. It came in a red nylon bag stamped US Mail on the cover. Even though food, ammunition and beer, arrived to us on that same chopper, it was the red bag we were looking for. Eventually, one of my jobs was to “pass out the mail”. Some guys routinely received several pieces while some did not. Occasionally, some expectant soldiers would not get that much needed lifeline from back home. While not being the recipient of a letter or postcard was rough to handle. Nothing was as hard to take as a “Dear John” letter.
The terminology “Dear John Letter” is generally believed to have appeared during World War Two sometime around 1944. From the beginning of the war until mid 1943 only unmarried men were accepted into the draft, but mid-way through the fighting it became apparent that the quotas were falling short, and married men started getting the call. Interestingly, from 1880 until 1923, the most popular name in America for boys was John. Consequently, the name John took on the generic moniker for all soldiers for this type of letter. Also, adding to the stress, many men having received their draft notice, decided to speed up the process of considering marriage. In many cases, girlfriends with only a few weeks of companionship with the prospective draftee, found the need to make the most important decision of their life, before he shipped out. Some became fiancés, but a great many became wives. While a great deal of these unions went on to flourish after the war, many did not. Many young women could not handle the pressures of their loved one’s absence without him being at home to reinforce their affections and feelings. Thus, the necessity of how to break off the relationship became an issue. The only means at the time was the US Mail.
The “Dear John Letter” received by a soldier in the Vietnam war was the epidemy of despair for many soldiers. While the reasons for the letters were generally the same as the situations in the 1940’s, the opportunities to stray were much greater. Televison was now a staple in almost all homes and there was a plethora of more excuses to assuage the guilty party. Nonetheless, a “Dear John Letter” was for many young 19- and 20-year-old servicemen, the absolute bottom of the barrel of exasperation.
You see, in 1962, Luther Dixon the manager of the Shirelles a rock band girl-group wrote a song that they took to number one on the Billboard hot one hundred. Soldier Boy was a smash hit in the United States. The first two lines of the song are, “Soldier-Boy oh my little Soldier-Boy-I’ll be true to you.” Later in the song is the haunting lyric -“Take my love with you-to any port or foreign shore-I love you so-I’ll be true to you-“. It is impossible to gauge how important this song was to the sixty’s generation, but it cannot go without notice in connection with this situation.
When a young man is drafted in the United States military, his life as he knew it goes on hold, time stops for his world. He will grasp for anything that will get him through the night. Often times a popular song becomes his Holy Grail, a rock upon which his thoughts hang to keep from descending into despair. He repeats the lyrics to songs over and over in his head in his daily life. Soldier Boy is still an extremely popular song some 60 years later.
Most guys in Vietnam worked out a scenario in their mind as to how their homecoming was going to play out after the enlistment obligation was completed. Much of this was perpetuated by movies about World War Two servicemen returning home. Certainly, homecomings written by movie screen writers rarely ever mimicked the true circumstances. However, for the lonely GI in Vietnam this was all he had to cling to. So, when the “Dear John Letter” arrived he had little recourse. Many times, it came as a complete shock, but truth be told there were probably ‘cracks in the dam of fidelity for many months that had been overlooked in the daily business of fighting a war. Some men asked for and were granted emergency leave status to go home and sort things out. This rarely worked out well as many times the wife or fiancé had moved on to another relationship. For the combat soldier there were other more pressing matters to attend to, so a quick trip home was logistically and practically out of the question.
As it turned out, many young marriages, that may have weathered the trials of early matrimony, had the partners been able to work it out living under the same roof, dissolved and were lost to the ages. Soldiers did what soldiers have always done, picked up the pieces of their life and moved on. The United States government took no responsibility for these disasters and never even recognized the issue as an existing one. Servicemen came home to small towns and large cities with their emotional well-being in fragments for many reasons and by and large were looked upon as problems waiting to happen. It took many years for these guys to assimilate back into society and in some cases they never did.
“Soldier Boy.. you were my first love and you’ll be my last love-I will never make you blue-I’ll be true to you-In the whole world-You can love but one girl-Let me be that one girl-For I’ll be true to you!”
Reference: Wikipedia